You’re Either a Bass Fisherman or Someone Who Believes a Kayak Is a Global Command Center

Once upon a time, all you needed to catch bass was a rod, a few lures, and a half-decent sense of direction. Now? You apparently need a kayak that could land a SpaceX rocket.

I’m not judging — okay, maybe a little. But I swear, every time I hit the lake lately, I see some guy paddling a 13-foot plastic battleship rigged with more electronics than a NASA control room. Dual sonar. GPS anchor lock. Three screens. Bluetooth cupholder, probably.

Meanwhile, I’m out here with one rod, one lure, and a questionable knot — trying to remember where I left my snacks.

I get it, though. We all chase our own kind of perfection. Some people want the quiet of the water; others want the thrill of optimizing it.

Still, part of me misses the days when the biggest “upgrade” was a new hat that didn’t smell like bait.

Because at some point, fishing stopped being about patience and started looking like a LAN party.

So yeah — you’re either a bass fisherman…or someone who believes your kayak is a global command center.

And honestly? I’ll take my luck, my line, and a little peace over Wi-Fi any day.